Rock
Scissors
Fuck
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
