Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
