We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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