bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
