i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
