i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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