Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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