barbara walters just said penis...
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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