Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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