if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize