Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
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just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
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If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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