My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
