i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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