I am puke
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
