Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
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he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.