i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again