I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
