I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
