she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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