What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
