I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
