Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
