I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
