do herpes really smell.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
