How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
