bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
