Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR

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(785): View more from Kansas

Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?

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(229): View more from Georgia

It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere

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(954): View more from Florida

I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster

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(339): View more from Massachusetts

She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....

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