Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
