eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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