You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
