btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
