Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
