oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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