It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
