In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
