so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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