When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
