think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Randomize
