ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
how do flat chested girls get laid?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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