The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
