Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
