I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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