awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
