Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

the recession has oofficially hit my standards.

Fav 5 1040 2165
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(732): View more from New Jersey

i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.

Fav 16 5234 1895
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(248): View more from Michigan

He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.

Fav 18 4891 1488
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(843): View more from South Carolina

I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.

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(954): View more from Florida

I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.

Fav 10 1649 3924
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(716): View more from New York

You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.

Fav 7 1640 953
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.

Fav 4 1620 793
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(443): View more from Maryland

Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest

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