DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
