You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
