we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
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