Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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