Pants 0. Shit 1.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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