im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Alive.
So much puke
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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