If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
