the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
