My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
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