omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize