Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
