Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Where are you guys?
Drunk
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
