i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
