Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
