So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
