Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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